We artists find great fulfilment in pursuing our craft, but we are always dissatisfied with the results, which pushes us toward growth and excellence. (Steve Easterwood)
today is a Wednesday . Wednesday is a painting day . Why do I have a painting day? good question . Why do I do anything ? Because I want to be a better painter .( to self ..Is it all about becoming better ? am I not good enough ? Am I good ? after better will I want to be best ? ..no ,but I would like to be my best and someones favourite !I am more than one persons favourite person already and am loved by one or two also.)
I want to be more skilled at everything.
There is a great deal of desire it seems in my life in all that wanting. Is there passion ? What is the difference between passion and desire ? between passion and wanting ?
I have a passion for colour ,for design for beauty for nature, for kindness ,for wholeness and integrity and a desire ,a want, to love and be loved . I want love ?
Am I wanting love ? Do I really feel myself to be without love ? I do not love myself very much these days , so yes I am wanting that love my love for my self .
How can I love myself more ? I cannot be younger ,taller ,smarter,but I could be more "successful" could I not ?
Success has to be evaluated and measured .It is an outcome . I learnt this in my teacher training .
There has to be a goal or rather ,in teaching terms, an aim . I have never been good at setting goals which is ,I suppose why I am a little hazy about what success or successes I may have had over the years.
However, In November 2014 I set myself the goal of becoming a better painter. Have I achieved that goal ? By what criteria should,or could ,I now measure my level of success ?
here is an oil painting from 2003
and below , an acrylic painted in July 2015
The 2003 image of the mare and foal on the moor ,to my surprise ,shares certain similarities with the second 2015 image of the swallows . The difference ,other than the medium ,(the first being in oil and the second in acrylic),is that the horses were painted plein air ,out in the open ,on Dartmoor and I was painting what I saw . The swallows on the other hand were purely from my imagination and not at all conceived of when I began the painting.
The process which brought the swallows into being went thus-wise .
I am not a better painter than before . I am though a different sort of painter ,braver and my imagination more liberated . So There you are regardless of whether the painting has improved , I have definitely improved as a painter . I am braver and more liberated. I have more to learn about colour and about the dark .
I also enjoy this process more than painting directly what I see . It is quite different from painting what one sees and going straight for reproducing the object or scene on the flat surface ,which of course has it's pleasure and its value. I find the latter too easy . Too easy , so not much of an achievement . I now enjoy the exploration of colour for its own sake in fact I am passionate about it whereas previously I was just copying it from the subject. I explore the very edge of failure throughout the process .
All in all ,painting this way has made this painter,my self ,much better ,I love this self who is adventurous ,brave ,intuitive , who trusts in the process so wholly.
If you have any questions about this method I have adopted please subscribe to the blog and ask away
It's cool ...and there is loads more to tell !!